Are You On Autopilot?

Do you know what the definition of “autopilot” is?  Here’s the official Webster definition: 

“ autopilot - a cognitive state in which you act without self-awareness - she went about her chores on automatic pilot"

When I read this, I stopped in my tracks and said, that’s exactly how I have lived most of my life!  It didn’t matter if I was really busy, sick, stressed, depressed or just didn’t have enough time in the day, my  default was to go on “autopilot” and I could get it all done.  Yes, but at a HUGE personal cost to me. 

As women, we are trying to balance it all... careers, illness, family, home, relationships, aging parents, and so much more!.   There is never enough time, or to even think about what we are doing.  That’s what makes it so easy to go on “autopilot”, and that become our normal or default...NO THINKING REQUIRED. 

Well, it’s time to start changing that process and to decide what our new normal will be.  I have been working on this for quite some time and a really good friend said something to me that really changed my life.

She said “we all have the same 24 hours in a day, and it’s up to you to decide how you want to spend it”.   When she said that to me, of course, I got huffy and said, but you don’t understand.  The truth was that she did understand and was exactly right.

I have found some ways to start changing my “autopilot”, and I wanted to share them with you:

1. AWARE -   This sounds simple, but it’s harder than you think.  Start to pay attention to when you feel like you are just going from one thing to the next and not thinking or you know that you are on “autopilot”.  This is not about being right or wrong, but just about being aware.
2. NOTICE - Notice what you doing, how you are feeling and  be curious.   I find that I am usually doing it because I have ALWAYS done it this way, or I am trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.  This will give you an opportunity to really focus in more clearly.  
3. CHOOSE – Once you starting paying closer attention to what you are actually doing, and focusing in on why, you now have the opportunity to make a choice.  You may still choose to do the same thing as before and stay on “autopilot” for this task, but at least you now have a choice.  That’s what makes the real difference is that you are choosing, not just doing!

While I still do go on “autopilot” and back to my default, at least now I know that I am making a conscious choice now and I do think about it before I automatically go there.  It’s a slow road, but it does work. 

You can start to change your defaults and find ways to get off “autopilot” today!  It just takes the awareness of what you are doing, notice how you are feeling, and then you can make a choice.  It’s never too late to makes changes in your life.  It’s time to take that first step.

Please let me hear from you on what’s working and how I can support you in your journey. 

I would like to offer you a bonus gift that will help you on your personal journey.  I was very fortunate to co-author a book called “The Unstoppable Woman’s Guide to Emotional Well Being”, with 23 other women around the world.  This book has many tips, techniques and strategies about achieving  your goals and live your life. 

Please click below to download my chapter, “Handling High Stakes Scenarios”. 

BONUS: Download Darlene’s chapter “Handing High Stakes Scenarios”

I would love to work with you and find out how I can design a customized coaching program that exactly fits your needs and develop a plan for your personal and professional success.   I look forward to hearing from you.   Please contact me at darlene@darlenetempleton.com or drop by my site.

http://darlenetempleton.com/coaching-services -  password: 1234

About the Author:

Darlene Templeton, the transformation and transition coach and leadership expert 

Darlene Templeton is the CEO and founder of Templeton & Associates.  She is a corporate “escapee”,  a professional coach, speaker, and author.   She specializes in transformation and transition specifically for those who want to make a greater impact personally and professionally while rekindling their passion and drive for life.  Darlene engages, inspires and empowers women  who are overworked and overwhelmed, helping them to put more time back into their lives, so that can do the things that they truly  love.

Darlene lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, John.  She loves spending time with her family and her four grandchildren. 

Don't forget the ME time....you are WORTH it!

By Darlene Templeton

How many of you put everyone else’s needs, wants and desires first?  Without getting your answers, I can bet it’s the majority of us!  I find this with every group of women that I talk to or work with.   It’s just who we are!   

There are many ways to get your ME time, and I am going to share a few that are really simple and that either I do or other amazing women have shared with me.  The real key is to be aware that you deserve this time and focus on how to get it.     

• Quiet time - take 5:   Sounds easy and simple, but it’s not.  Find 5 minutes that you can truly have your quiet time.  This means to stop “doing” and to switch to just “being. Here are some suggestions:
  • Don’t go over your to do list for the day or what you need to do at work
  • Listen to your favorite songs
  • Focus on a place that relaxes you, I go to the beach
• Mediate:  I always thought that meditating was such a time consuming activity, and that I certainly did not have time to do this.  I found out that this is not true.  There are stats that say 10-15 minutes of meditation bring huge physical, mental and spiritual benefits.   Some easy ways to mediate:
  • Breathe   – deep breathing slows the heart rate, relaxes the body and helps focus your mind.  Count your  breaths
  • Feel your body  - Start with your feet, and the slowly move up your body
  • Guided meditation – there are so many great ones available,  check them out
• Spa Services:    When I take the time to get a massage, facial, manicure or pedicure, it just makes me feel special and pampered.  It’s the ultimate ME time.  However, I often hear, “I can’t afford it, it’s too expensive and/or I don’t have the time.”  Here are some suggestions on how to make that work: 
  • Search Groupon and other coupon offerings for deals.   My dear friend and I just had one of the best massages ever, and it was $25.   
  • Ask for gift certificates for spa services for your birthday and other special occasions.   My family and friends are very happy to do this. 
  • Make it a party  and get your girlfriends to go with you.  Now you not only have ME time, but time for a celebration!   

These are just a few quick and simple ways to implement time for you. There are many other really cool ways to put some time for you  back into your life.    Find the ones that work for you and then focus on adding them to your day.    Please don’t strive for perfection, remember that we are all “work in progress”.

I am asking you to add 5 minutes of ME time, a few days a week, and you will notice a huge difference.  If you keep it up for 21 days, then it will become a habit! YOU DESERVE IT!

Please let me hear from you on what is working for you and what changes you are seeing.  This would be great to share with the group.   Please leave your ideas and your comments.    

I would love to work with you and find out how I can design a customized coaching program that exactly fits your needs and develop a plan for your personal and professional success.   I look forward to hearing from you.   Please contact me at darlene@darlenetempleton.com

http://darlenetempleton.com/coaching/individual-coaching/

About the Author: 

Darlene Templeton, the transformation and transition coach and leadership expert 

Darlene Templeton is the CEO and founder of Templeton & Associates.  She is a corporate “escapee”,  a professional coach, speaker, and author.   She specializes in transformation and transition specifically for those who want to make a greater impact personally and professionally while rekindling their passion and drive for life.  Darlene engages, inspires and empowers women  who are overworked and overwhelmed, helping them to put more time back into their lives, so that can do the things that they truly  love.

Darlene lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, John.  She loves spending time with her family and her four grandchildren.