Are You On Autopilot?

Do you know what the definition of “autopilot” is?  Here’s the official Webster definition: 

“ autopilot - a cognitive state in which you act without self-awareness - she went about her chores on automatic pilot"

When I read this, I stopped in my tracks and said, that’s exactly how I have lived most of my life!  It didn’t matter if I was really busy, sick, stressed, depressed or just didn’t have enough time in the day, my  default was to go on “autopilot” and I could get it all done.  Yes, but at a HUGE personal cost to me. 

As women, we are trying to balance it all... careers, illness, family, home, relationships, aging parents, and so much more!.   There is never enough time, or to even think about what we are doing.  That’s what makes it so easy to go on “autopilot”, and that become our normal or default...NO THINKING REQUIRED. 

Well, it’s time to start changing that process and to decide what our new normal will be.  I have been working on this for quite some time and a really good friend said something to me that really changed my life.

She said “we all have the same 24 hours in a day, and it’s up to you to decide how you want to spend it”.   When she said that to me, of course, I got huffy and said, but you don’t understand.  The truth was that she did understand and was exactly right.

I have found some ways to start changing my “autopilot”, and I wanted to share them with you:

1. AWARE -   This sounds simple, but it’s harder than you think.  Start to pay attention to when you feel like you are just going from one thing to the next and not thinking or you know that you are on “autopilot”.  This is not about being right or wrong, but just about being aware.
2. NOTICE - Notice what you doing, how you are feeling and  be curious.   I find that I am usually doing it because I have ALWAYS done it this way, or I am trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.  This will give you an opportunity to really focus in more clearly.  
3. CHOOSE – Once you starting paying closer attention to what you are actually doing, and focusing in on why, you now have the opportunity to make a choice.  You may still choose to do the same thing as before and stay on “autopilot” for this task, but at least you now have a choice.  That’s what makes the real difference is that you are choosing, not just doing!

While I still do go on “autopilot” and back to my default, at least now I know that I am making a conscious choice now and I do think about it before I automatically go there.  It’s a slow road, but it does work. 

You can start to change your defaults and find ways to get off “autopilot” today!  It just takes the awareness of what you are doing, notice how you are feeling, and then you can make a choice.  It’s never too late to makes changes in your life.  It’s time to take that first step.

Please let me hear from you on what’s working and how I can support you in your journey. 

I would like to offer you a bonus gift that will help you on your personal journey.  I was very fortunate to co-author a book called “The Unstoppable Woman’s Guide to Emotional Well Being”, with 23 other women around the world.  This book has many tips, techniques and strategies about achieving  your goals and live your life. 

Please click below to download my chapter, “Handling High Stakes Scenarios”. 

BONUS: Download Darlene’s chapter “Handing High Stakes Scenarios”

I would love to work with you and find out how I can design a customized coaching program that exactly fits your needs and develop a plan for your personal and professional success.   I look forward to hearing from you.   Please contact me at darlene@darlenetempleton.com or drop by my site.

http://darlenetempleton.com/coaching-services -  password: 1234

About the Author:

Darlene Templeton, the transformation and transition coach and leadership expert 

Darlene Templeton is the CEO and founder of Templeton & Associates.  She is a corporate “escapee”,  a professional coach, speaker, and author.   She specializes in transformation and transition specifically for those who want to make a greater impact personally and professionally while rekindling their passion and drive for life.  Darlene engages, inspires and empowers women  who are overworked and overwhelmed, helping them to put more time back into their lives, so that can do the things that they truly  love.

Darlene lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, John.  She loves spending time with her family and her four grandchildren. 

TAKING MY SUPERWOMAN CAPE OFF!

By Darlene Templeton

All my life, I have been the “fixer or caretaker”.  It was my job from a young age to take care of everyone else in my life, and I thought my needs didn’t matter!  Early on, I put on my “superwoman” cape and set out to take care of the world.  I could leap tall buildings, was faster than a speeding bullet and did it all with a smile on my face.  However, at night, I would “fall into bed”, exhausted, overwhelmed, overworked and angry, because there was no time for me!

When I had my health scare six years ago, I begin to learn what “self-care” was about and I knew that I  really needed  to take care of me.  I did a good job for a while, and then the old patterns kicked back in, and I “defaulted” back to what I knew best, taking care of others.

As women, we are taught from an early age, that it’s our job to take care of everyone else in our lives first.  If we do anything for ourselves, we are “taking time away” from our families, our friends, our spouses, our kids, our jobs, our pets, everything!  How selfish is that….NOT at all.  This is an “old wives tale” that we must change.   If we don’t take care of ourselves first, love who we are and do things that  make us happy,  we CANNOT take care of others. 

These are a few simple things that I have learned, and have worked for me.   I wanted to share them with you so that you can join me on this new “self-care” journey: 

1. ME  TIME – Take some quiet time each day just for you.   Add it to your calendar, do it sometime during the day,  but be sure and find the time.  This is just for YOU to do anything you want to do.  I started with 10 minutes and that was hard at first.   Be sure and keep your appointments with YOURSELF everyday!
2. SUPPORT – I had missed my girlfriends, and had not taken the time to get together, do something fun, have lunch, or just enjoy their company.  Find your support group and do at least one fun activity with them.    This is so critical for taking of YOU!!!
3. LEARN TO SAY NO – That was one of the hardest ones for me, but I finally learned that “when you say yes to something, you are automatically saying no to something else”.  So, think about what is important to you, and start to say no.  When something is not a “clear yes”, I am learning to say, “let me get back to you on that”.    That gives me time to think about my answer. 

There is an old coaching term, and I love it……”put the oxygen mask on YOU”.  They don’t say on the airplane, “put the oxygen mask on your children first”.   What I realized is that unless I take care of myself first, I cannot be there for anyone else.   I am just too depleted to be able to support  or help in any way.  However, it’s very hard to see that in ourselves.  That’s what this is such an important step for all of us to take. 

I have traded in my “superwoman cape” for the “oxygen mask”, and I am learning to take care of me, love myself, and truly celebrate who I am.  It’s a “work in progress” for me,  and I still fall into my “default”, but I am learning.  Come and join me and take off your cape too! 

I would love to hear about you and your journey and support you in any way that I can, so let me know how you are doing.  You can reach me at   darlene@darlentempleton.com. 

Please contact me to find out how we can design a customized coaching program that exactly fits your  needs and develop a plan for your personal and professional success.   I look forward to hearing from you. 

http://darlenetempleton.com/coaching/individual-coaching/

About the Author:

Darlene Templeton, the transformation and transition coach and leadership expert.

Darlene Templeton is the CEO and founder of Templeton & Associates.  She is a corporate “escapee”,  a professional coach, speaker, and author.   She specializes in transformation and transition specifically for those who want to make a greater impact personally and professionally while rekindling their passion and drive for life.  Darlene engages, inspires and empowers women  who are overworked and overwhelmed, helping them to put more time back into their lives, so that can do the things that they truly  love.

Darlene lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, John.  She loves spending time with her family and her four grandchildren.