When I was diagnosed in 2006 I was stage II, DCIS, ER Positive and BRAC2 positive. I had a lumpectomy with no clear margins. The suggested course of action was chemotherapy and a double mastectomy. My father, being a doctor, recommended that I get a second opinion on my pathology report due to the fact it was the “personality” of the cancer. I sent my samples off to one of the leading labs in the country.

I met with my oncologist to get my chemotherapy protocol and he had copies of both pathology reports. He told me that based on those reports I would require radiation. He sent me downstairs to meet with the radiologist. I had a consultation on what would be required. It included the number of weeks, the tattoo and the time. I was not looking forward to this process. When I was finished, I was off to the plastic surgeons office.

Sitting on the table in my plastic surgeon’s office donning the paper cape, I started calculating how much time this whole process was going to take. Sheesh, a minimum of a year. My plastic surgeon walks in, and proceeds to glance at my chart. He said, “Well I see here you don’t require radiation.” I was thinking to my self, WHAT? Obviously plastic surgeons need to know if you are going to need radiation to make appropriate surgical decisions. That’s right, my own oncologist misread the second opinion pathology report because it was different than what he was used to reading.

I could have received radiation even though it wasn’t indicated. After that experience, I questioned EVERYTHING. We are the only ones in charge of our bodies and yes the medical profession is fallible. Do the research, ask the questions and get second opinions…your future depends on it.

© 2013 Genae M. Girard Author of Off the Rack, Creator of www.BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com email: info@BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com

Finding out you have a cancer diagnosis when you are employed can be a scary thing. There are some actions you can take to make a smooth transition through the process. If you look at it from the side of the employer, they may not understand cancer treatment. The word “cancer” may translate into fear of losing a great employee. There are a number of actions you can take when learning about your diagnosis. First, it is important talk to your doctor and find out exactly what your treatment protocol will be. Determine the time that will be required and the side effects of the treatments. Talk to your doctor about your work schedule and the possibility of treatment around that schedule.

 Once you have all of your information, create a detailed outline for your employer before you approach. This information will give the employer knowledge about what to expect and help you outline a plan. Some tips for approaching your employer include:

1)   A detailed plan about a work schedule

2)   Develop a possible work schedule from home (telecommuting)

3)   Clear Communication about what your intentions are regarding work

4)   Bring up possible contingency plans if you have down time

Note: Remember that it would cost an employer a good deal of money to hire and train someone that could do your job. There are clever ways to hint at that concept with out being too blatant. You are valuable and if you have a well thought out plan, they will respect you for that. 

A great resource for legal, financial and career plans is www.cancerandcareers.org

© 2013 Genae M. Girard Author of Off the Rack, Creator of www.BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com email: info@BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com

Here I am again. Behind a square set of curtains that remind me of the screens in the surgical room in the sitcom MASH. They provide enough privacy so that no one can visually see you, however you can hear every word being spoken. I can hear the woman in the pleated material draped barrier next to me talking to her husband about her upcoming nasal augmentation procedure. It isn’t a great thing to hear everyone’s thoughts and verbal fears because it raises your anxiety and the need to urinate.

 As I am sitting behind my sound penetrating curtain, I hear my surgeon’s voice talking to the nurses about the rotations for the day. My nerves spring as I equate that voice to the guy with the honed blade. There are odd comments that occur between surgeons and nurses. It’s not the usual chatter you would hear in a confined cubical farm. It is disturbing. I hear the nurse ask my surgeon, “Hey doc, are those new boots?” And he answers with, “well, my wife threw my other ones away because she said they probably had AIDS.” It took me a second to comprehend blood-splattered boots. My mind bent as I was thinking, what about shoe covers, why is blood on the floor and is this really going to be a sterile field during my surgery?

 Sitting on a table freezing my tookus off, wrapped in what feels like a cotton moo moo, the surgeon walks in with a surgical marker and T-square. Similar to high school wood shop, it brings new meaning to the term measure twice cut once. After I was all graffiti-ed up, a nurse proceeds to bring me a wrapped package and placed it on the uncomfortable surgical bed. These are the beds in which you know that you are about to meet the surgical room when the metal roll bars pop up on either side and you become mobile, which indicates its show time.

 One final blood pressure check and the nurse says, “put these on”, meaning the package lying on the bed. Let’s see, one pair of non-slip surgical socks, one surgical cap and…..wait what the Hell is this? I picked up what appeared to be a paper table napkin with rubber bands on either side of it. Yes, you guess it, surgical paper underwear. This item would not even fit a Barbie doll let alone me. I would be lucky to fit it over my foot. What deranged paper hospital design troll has decided that it is okay for us to sit on uncomfortable table paper that we stick to, have paper capes that look like a white boy scout vest and paper underwear that I can use as a Kleenex?   As breast cancer patients we exhibit so much bravery so why can’t we receive more dignity? 

  © Genae M. Girard 2013

Genae Girard is the creator of the breast cancer site www.BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com She is the author of the breast cancer book, “Off the Rack” and maintains over 22,000 breast cancer followers. Email her at: info@BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com

Lets talk about the limousines. I haven’t seen that many limos and drivers since prom or the inaugural ball.  And what about the parties? They have a party if their dog sneezes or if one of them bought a new Prada purse. The rotation of men in their lives reminds me of the constant revolution of chemo and radiation we have endured. As the wine flows on these shows, the hair pulling, backstabbing and the need for more drama crescendos. In fact, they may have more wigs than we do collectively.

And lets not forget the plastic surgery. There is enough silicone on these shows to keep a plastic surgeon in business for years. Before these shows, I had no idea there were chin and lip implants. Perhaps they are a couple of surgeries away were there own mother wouldn’t recognize them. I will never forget being in my plastic surgeon’s office wondering, shouldn’t there be a front row for breast cancer patients where we at least get a free shot of Botox? Then the other women in the room gearing up for their elective reconstruction junction would recognize that cancer chose us.

What bothers me the most is the petty fighting amongst these women during the shows is sickening. When the chips are down, your girlfriends are the ones who are present. These shows set a bad example for all women. As these women are fighting to obtain Armani, we are engaged in a sisterhood of fighting for our lives. As we encourage each other to move forward it becomes obvious that there is a big difference between LIFE AND EXTRAVEGANCE and LIFE AND DEATH.

Genae Girard is the creator of the breast cancer site www.BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com She is the author of the breast cancer book, “Off the Rack” and maintains over 22,000 breast cancer followers. Email her at: info@BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com

As I grew older I remember getting on the “ Wish Train.” The most popular girl in school had Guess Jeans and I embarrassingly wore the handed down Tuff Skin pants inherited by my brother. Brother had generously deconstructed the knees, which isn’t supposed to be physically possible. The definition of “wish” includes: a desire, longing, or strong inclination for a specific item. I remember Barbra Eden on “I Dream of Jeannie” could grant a wish by simply nodding her head. I tried nodding my head in an effort to get those “wished jeans”. I ended up biting my lip, and not seeing denim appear before me so I simply stopped trying that approach.

 I have been thinking about all of the THINGS I have “WISHED FOR” in my life.  As I wind down in my nightly ritual of bathing in the tube, I peer down and peruse the map of scars. I thought, I wished that I didn’t get breast cancer and proceeded to complete the Genie nod and nothing happened. As the tub water gently turns from hot to lukewarm I though I’m trading in the word “Wish” for “HOPE”.

Genae Girard is the creator of the breast cancer site www.BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com She is the author of the breast cancer book, “Off the Rack” and maintains over 22,000 breast cancer followers. Email her at: info@BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com

Expiration Date

By Genae Girard, Creator of www.Beyond the Boobie Trap

I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS FIRST DIAGNOSED WITH BREAST cancer I was thrown into a whirlwind of statistics related to the type of tumor I had, and whether or not I was lymph node posi- tive. All of these pieces of information were invaluable when determining the characteristics of my cancer and making treat- ment decisions. Medical professionals and the different cancer societies have compiled statistical data on all cancers based on treatment protocols that can give you an estimate for your chances of survival. Wow, a mathematical formula that can guess my life span. I dove into the world of statistics looking for answers. While treading water, I found that the statistics were useful in determin- ing the best course of action for my treatment; however, I found the term “survival rate” to be cement shoes during the swim.

There are actual software programs that exist in which you can plug in your cancer statistics and based on your treatment protocols and nature of your cancer you can see what your chances of survival are in year increments. I chose not to input my statistics. I thought, Why should I live my life knowing that a computer with a lightning fast processor just coughed up a statistical curve that determined my life
expectancy. Maybe it would be easier if we were all born with an expi- ration date stamped on our ass. I think I will just live life playing by God’s rules instead.

To purchase the book go here Off the Rack Book

By Genae Girard

Yesterday I set out to complete my yearly hunt for a birthday present for my nephew. He was turning six, the age where a boy will fashion anything into a potential weapon and imprison bugs from the backyard in small containers. I decided Target would be my birthday hunting ground for toys and nick knacks.

As I departed from my car into the 102 heat wave, I realized that if I didn’t hurry and enter the store, I could potentially become a melted grease spot on the stovetop like black parking lot. 

 As I entered the store I made a b-line right-angled turn for my usual, Starbucks ice coffee. Starbucks ice coffee is jet fuel. The first sip smacks you in the face as your body quivers from the bitter voltage. The girl behind the counter asked me what size I wanted. Knowing that I was about to cross the threshold into toy aisle torture, I told her, “You better make it a Venti.”

 The toy aisle is a branded plethora of tiny branded billboards where Raggedy Ann and Lincoln Logs have been replaced by Transformers, Iron Man and a science kit where you can mold intestines and proceed to eat them afterwards. Walking up and down the aisle, I was unaware that Lego is conceiving a plot to take over the world. There where three isles dedicated to their block building products and the most affordable kit was $24.99.  

 My stomach began to feel queasy. The Venti coffee and the fact I was walking around and around the toy aisle like a bad carnival Ferris wheel was beginning to take effect. Everything looked the same. My stomach issues increased as I dodged children with sticky lollipops and germy hands. I finally zeroed in on a remote control Monster truck and a video game for his Xbox and exited the building swiftly.  

 I returned home to prepare to go to my brother’s house for my nephew’s birthday.  Being a prankster I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be funny to give a faux present to my nephew and hide the real ones in my car. I like to call my nephew Little Lord Fauntleroy because he commands so many toys already. This prank could really confuse him and bring the adults great joy. I thought about an old dirty sock until my good friend suggested painting a face on a rock and passing off as a “Pet Rock.”

 This became the covert plan. We watched as my nephew opened other gifts from the family and then made a move to the bag containing the wrapped earthy artifact. I had warned my sister in law that I was playing the prank and she said, “I hope he doesn’t cry.” As he gingerly unwrapped the gift, the face painted rock fell to the tablecloth and he immediately grabbed and a huge smile erupted from his face. He held it up and laughed and stated loudly, “We have a new member of the family!” You never know when great joy will arrive, but when it does, receive it and revel in it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Genae Girard is a speaker, author and entrepreneur. She is the founder of www.BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com, an online social media tribe of over 22,000 breast cancer survivors and regularly speaks on the topics of women in leadership and building a tribe. She is also the author of “Off the Rack: Chronicles of a Thirty-Something, Single, Breast Cancer Survivor.” For inquiries email: info@BeyondtheBoobieTrap.com

Do you wake up in the morning, looking forward to your day at work? Are you doing something that makes you feel happy and content that you contributed? Do you smile and laugh during the day? Do you come home with good stories? Do you think I may be crazy to even think the above is possible?

This is some information on how to identify what you enjoy and tie it back to a career you would might enjoy. This is just a quick overview and certainly doesn’t include all careers that might make you want to show up for a great day.

All of us have things that we love to do. Rather that be researching to find information or a solution, teaching others, getting paid based on what we actually produce (sell), feeling productive, providing music or dance or photos that bring harmony to life, improving our internal or external environment, helping out people that are struggling with life, world peace, being in charge of our own destiny, helping ourselves and others find higher meaning in life, or loving to organize and put systems in place to improve current situations.

Nearly everyone can find at least one of the above choices to be inviting. Most will find two to five that really makes them feel good. These are based on the six factors for motivation. Which applies to you? Generally your top two will be where you find your greatest job satisfaction

Theoretical - passion for knowledge, loves to learn or teach, wants the facts and bases decisions on them. Career choices include: professionals (attorneys, doctors, professors), teachers, research, high tech, basically where they get to keep learning.

 Utilitarian - wants effective and efficient use of time, energy and money, wants to be rewarded for good work (bonus or commission structure).

Career choice include: sales, financial based businesses (banks, financial planning, stock market, etc.) depending on other factors, may want have own business.

Aesthetic - needs harmony, desire for balance in life, creative, sensitive to surroundingsCareer choices include: dance, theatre, photography, cosmetic dentistry, writing, art

Social - desire for world peace, help others in need, broad view of responsibility for society Career choices include: Peace Corp, social worker, non-profit organizations, non-competitive environments, health care givers

Individualistic - need to control own destiny, enjoy leadership roles, power (power used correctly will be very beneficial to many, only when abused will be destructive) Career choices include: politics, climbing the career ladder, leadership roles

Traditional - search for higher meaning in life, and/or a need for systems such as a place for everything and everything in it’s place.Career choices include: religious leaders or workers, professional organizers, military, fire and police personnel, judges

 What are your top two? Which ones resonate in your heart? Generally, the happier you are in your career, the healthier or more quickly you will heal. It is tied to chemistry, but that is another topic entirely. This is just to encourage you to explore waking up in the morning looking forward to your day.

About Barbara:

With MaxImize, her 22 year old company, Barbara Metzger, has developed, facilitated and lead a wide range of business programs and projects. Having done thousands of internationally validated assessments and studied with the leading specialists, Barbara’s strength is exceptional in understanding people’s behavior, motivation and interpersonal dynamics. connecting information provided by two or more assessment, she creates understanding real world application for hiring as well as individual development. To reach Barbara go to:

http://www.maxproductivity.com

Asking for What You Want

 “It’s been over two years and I almost no one besides my husband knows I was sick,” confessed the striking African woman, arriving at my workshop three hours late. Despite surgery and treatment, Doreen’s day to day life was virtually unchanged. “We have three small kids,” she explained. They need me.”

She wept as she whispered, “I can’t go on like this anymore. I’ve got to have some time for myself.” The idea of asking for what she wanted, and for their help, shocked her.

I asked the group to help her role play asking for what she wanted.  As she practiced saying “I’ve been feeling tired and want a quiet hour to myself each day. Will you help with household chores so I can do that?” her confidence grew.  She committed to talking with her family that same night, and her time to herself began the next morning.  

Six months later she founded an organization to make mammograms available to woman in South Africa.

Often, asking for what you need is even scarier than cancer. The first time is by far the hardest. Practice makes it easier and more natural. Practicing in front of a mirror, or asking someone you trust to role play can help you see that getting what you need will be easier than you think.

 Ask yourself “What if?”

“My boyfriend wants to get married right now,” Doretha, recently diagnosed with breast cancer, scoffed. “No way am I risking that. How could he possibly want me with half a chest, knowing I might die? I’m thinking about breaking up with him.” Her miserable face told its own story.

“It feels like you’re making this decision out of fear of what might happen.” I observed. “How does this decision make it easier for you?”

She hesitated. Took a deep breath. “I love him and I want him with me but I just can’t get married now. I just can’t risk it.“ And then admitted her deepest fear. “Even if he does still want me, what if I don’t make it? I can’t do that to him.”

“What if you stay together and just put the whole idea of marriage on hold until you’re done with treatment?” I could see the relief on her face. She smiled. “That would make if so much easier.”

That was over a year ago. I ran into her and her fiancé last week. They’re getting married next month. Doretha’s fear of what might happen in the future almost cost her the love of her life, and valuable support during her treatment.

Sometimes we get so caught up in negatives of what might happen we lose track of what that is might be really good, or what we need now.  Consider:

• What is the best thing that could happen? What’s the worst?
• What if I decide/do it now? What if I wait?

Your physical, emotional and intuitive responses to these What If? questions will help you deepen your understanding of what you want and need.

Find out What’s Possible.

Torn between financial stability, physical health, and the desires of her heart, Sharon‘s anxiety about returning to her job had taken over her life. Eight years from retirement, she hated the work, and while knowing she could do it, feared the physical demands would weaken her over time. She was filled with a vague new yearning to do more, and dreamed of somehow giving back.

Within a few hours, my professional balance assessment quickly identified what she would be happiest doing, and our brainstorming transformed her vague dream into a plan to create a blog and ezine, sharing her knowledge of how art and music therapy helps patients and survivors.

Together, we created a transition plan that allowed her to keep her job while she creates and launched her new business, which will be in early 2013.

Sharon’s anxiety came from her mistaken belief that it was impossible to be financially secure and do something new at the same time.

If you want something more, but don’t think it’s possible, invest time in finding out. Most likely you’ll find out that it is.

Each of these women is exactly like you and I. We make choices and we live life. It’s choosing making to ask for what you want, consider all the “what if’s”, and find out what’s possible that bring us the feelings of choice and freedom we must have to take back our lives during and after cancer.

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Are you ready to take back control of your life?  Learn more about my new Living Well After Cancer 8-week telecourse. Past participants have taken back control of their lives by changing careers; breathing new life into their relationships; sustaining lifestyle changes like losing weight; overcoming depression and fear; and report huge improvements in their quality of life.

Learn more HERE.

Breast cancer patients turn to fellow survivor Paula Holland De Long ACC, CPCC, to regain control of their lives, reduce fear and stress, and improve quality of life during and after cancer. Paula’s appeal comes from her willingness to talk about things patients and survivors don’t know (or are afraid) to ask about. Her personal battle with breast cancer inspired her to found What’s Next For My Life? Inc., whose life coaching work is offered at cancer treatment centers and support organizations, and directly to patients. To learn more visit WhatsNextForMyLife.com.

“ autopilot - a cognitive state in which you act without self-awareness - she went about her chores on automatic pilot"

When I read this, I stopped in my tracks and said, that’s exactly how I have lived most of my life!  It didn’t matter if I was really busy, sick, stressed, depressed or just didn’t have enough time in the day, my  default was to go on “autopilot” and I could get it all done.  Yes, but at a HUGE personal cost to me. 

As women, we are trying to balance it all... careers, illness, family, home, relationships, aging parents, and so much more!.   There is never enough time, or to even think about what we are doing.  That’s what makes it so easy to go on “autopilot”, and that become our normal or default...NO THINKING REQUIRED. 

Well, it’s time to start changing that process and to decide what our new normal will be.  I have been working on this for quite some time and a really good friend said something to me that really changed my life.

She said “we all have the same 24 hours in a day, and it’s up to you to decide how you want to spend it”.   When she said that to me, of course, I got huffy and said, but you don’t understand.  The truth was that she did understand and was exactly right.

I have found some ways to start changing my “autopilot”, and I wanted to share them with you:

1. AWARE -   This sounds simple, but it’s harder than you think.  Start to pay attention to when you feel like you are just going from one thing to the next and not thinking or you know that you are on “autopilot”.  This is not about being right or wrong, but just about being aware.
2. NOTICE - Notice what you doing, how you are feeling and  be curious.   I find that I am usually doing it because I have ALWAYS done it this way, or I am trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.  This will give you an opportunity to really focus in more clearly.  
3. CHOOSE – Once you starting paying closer attention to what you are actually doing, and focusing in on why, you now have the opportunity to make a choice.  You may still choose to do the same thing as before and stay on “autopilot” for this task, but at least you now have a choice.  That’s what makes the real difference is that you are choosing, not just doing!

While I still do go on “autopilot” and back to my default, at least now I know that I am making a conscious choice now and I do think about it before I automatically go there.  It’s a slow road, but it does work. 

You can start to change your defaults and find ways to get off “autopilot” today!  It just takes the awareness of what you are doing, notice how you are feeling, and then you can make a choice.  It’s never too late to makes changes in your life.  It’s time to take that first step.

Please let me hear from you on what’s working and how I can support you in your journey. 

I would like to offer you a bonus gift that will help you on your personal journey.  I was very fortunate to co-author a book called “The Unstoppable Woman’s Guide to Emotional Well Being”, with 23 other women around the world.  This book has many tips, techniques and strategies about achieving  your goals and live your life. 

Please click below to download my chapter, “Handling High Stakes Scenarios”. 

BONUS: Download Darlene’s chapter “Handing High Stakes Scenarios”

I would love to work with you and find out how I can design a customized coaching program that exactly fits your needs and develop a plan for your personal and professional success.   I look forward to hearing from you.   Please contact me at darlene@darlenetempleton.com or drop by my site.

http://darlenetempleton.com/coaching-services -  password: 1234

About the Author:

Darlene Templeton, the transformation and transition coach and leadership expert 

Darlene Templeton is the CEO and founder of Templeton & Associates.  She is a corporate “escapee”,  a professional coach, speaker, and author.   She specializes in transformation and transition specifically for those who want to make a greater impact personally and professionally while rekindling their passion and drive for life.  Darlene engages, inspires and empowers women  who are overworked and overwhelmed, helping them to put more time back into their lives, so that can do the things that they truly  love.

Darlene lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, John.  She loves spending time with her family and her four grandchildren.